My family has recently moved house and now we have two new neighbors! Both our neighbors are Indian families and our family has been interacting with one particular family relatively well recently. We’re always aware of the fact that Muslims do not eat pork for both religious and maybe health issues. So my family is really careful with food around them. It was only when my brother started playing more with that family’s children did we realize something interesting about their cuisine.
Every time our neighbor’s kids come over to find my brother for some afternoon fun, my mother will cook or bake to entertain them. Sometimes, my neighbor will bring outside food over and both families will enjoy dinner together. Once, my neighbor bought some burgers over and the kids stopped playing and rushed over to eat (something that they’re even better at than playing). I started distributing the food to them and knowing that the neighbors don’t eat pork, I passed them the chicken burgers and laid out all the other snacks in front of them. Just as I was about to get started on my burger, one of my neighbor’s kids, Brandon, pointed at the burger that my brother was holding and said “Can I have THAT one? It’s my favourite!” I looked at him and then at that burger and I was like “But that’s pork.” He stared at me and said “Yeah but it’s my favourite.” Just then his mum arrived and I quickly queried her about his ‘strange’ request and she just laughed! Seeing my confused and possibly dumbfounded expression, she gently explained that she’s rather lenient around with her kids and allow them to eat whatever’s to their comfort when the elders are not around. Besides, it’s the elders who are Muslim. She hardly considers herself a Muslim because she’s a Christian. OHHH. At home, it’s the grandparents who strictly stick to the pork restrictions so the kids are required to follow suit but once outside, they are allowed certain freedom to that.
This is really kind of similar to some habits in my family too. True, even if they don’t follow the restrictions closely, they do this discreetly and not in broad daylight, so we hardly hear of it. It seems like my Chinese family is not so different from my neighbor’s Indian family after all.
Actually, this brings me to another question. The older generation still holds firmly to their traditions, while the newer and younger generations tend to be more laxed around these laws. Is the changing or non-adherence of certain ‘rules’ diluting the traditions and social norms of a culture? Somehow I think not. Some traditions are really strange to begin with, like how some religious groups do not allow the cutting of hair, even for men. So I think it may not totally be a bad thing if some ‘rules’ are more laxed.
Feel free to comment:)
Hey Jac,
ReplyDeleteNice post, I like it. It was very interesting!
Cheers
Felicitaciones chica
Vaya que fue una sorpresa agradable y gracias de todos modos! (Wow that was a pleasant surprise and thanks anyway!)
ReplyDelete=)
Hi Jac! I really enjoyed reading your post because I learnt something new haha. It really surprised me that your neighbours are such liberal people and this really brings to mind the evolution of cultures these days. In the past, Muslims will frown upon activities such as clubbing and drinking alcohol. But now, my Muslim friends are quite okay with going to clubs and enjoying themselves albeit without the alcohol.
ReplyDeleteI think your point about 'rules' being more relaxed now is quite valid based on the example that I've pointed out above. I wouldn't say it is a bad thing to be more flexible about these 'rules' but we would have to evaluate each situation individually. As long as it doesn't have any major repercussions, I think tweaking such 'rules' would be fine ;)
Oooh thanks Paula for substantiating the point! =) Yep I guess what Brad spoke about: culture being dynamic, is rather true in this generation!
ReplyDeleteSi Jac? Estas tan amable ja ja! Cuando te felizas entonces yo tambien!
ReplyDeleteMuchas buenas
Hi Jac,
ReplyDeleteI like how this is a little unexpected twist. Like both you and Paula mentioned, culture is dynamic. Stereotypes of today can change and disappear in the future.
In addition to the Muslim bit. I've learned from Faizal that it is really how one interprets the 'rules'. By right, Muslims can eat all types of seafood. So one of my Muslim friend is perfectly fine with getting a tuna sandwich from subway though it is not halal certified. But Faizal will abstain from doing so because he feels there are other options around.
Thanks Jac for that wonderful and extremely vivid description of the incident. You have indeed enlightened us on the issue of cultural evolution.
ReplyDeleteYour post is concise at the correct sections and well elaborated at the necessary ones; such that there were ample details that enabled readers to comprehend completely.
Through your sharing, i've learnt more about this phenomemon sometimes referred to as the "dilution of culture". However, i realised that as traditional culture gets "diluted", the contemporary culture gets "reinforced". So overall, this can hardly be called a weakening of culture as a whole - but rather - of the evolution of culture.
And I would say that traditions today is certainly massively weakened as compared to those in the past. But as we live our lives, we're creating traditions for those who come after us!
Michelle: Thanks for the comment! Yeah I agree that some ideals are formulated based on a person’s beliefs and this differs from person to person. I guess people are becoming more accepting of many behaviors although the older generation, because of the way they were brought up, still is unable to accept these changes. Nonetheless, I feel that stereotypes are kind of like the’ general mindset’ of the population so it might still be a little hard to change that. Though I agree it’s getting easier=).
ReplyDeleteBenji: Yes I would say too that the cultures and traditions are evolving all the time and since traditions are in the first place thought out and set by people, and people change, who’s to say that traditions will stay the same too? Haha thanks for the comment!
Hey Jac!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this lovely post. Haha. It makes me feel happy after reading it. It is really great that your neighbour is showing respect to her grandparents by not having pork while they are around. I think such small acts of consideration go a long way in preserving peace and love in the family.
Thanks for sharing this! Made my day! =)
This is an entertaining post, Jaq. It reads easily and the content is provocative. Let me get this straight though: the neighboring family that you have fun entertaining is Indian Moslem, but the woman with whom you spoke is Christian. Correct? So she had married into a Moslem family? Does that mean the kids are ... what?
ReplyDeleteI'm not so sure that this example demonstrates that the rules are being bent so much as the woman (the Christian wife) is not enforcing the typical Moslem restrictions regarding pork. I wonder what her husband would have to say.
In any case, it is true that different people apply the rules of their religion/culture in different manners. We are all individuals, after all. I'm not so sure that this is an example of how culture is dynamic though as much as it is up to individual members to interpret the rules as they see fit. If the majority of members ignore a rule, indeed the rule may disappear, or change. You see that in language most clearly. For example, when I was young, there were rarely if ever any four-letter curses words used in films. Now it is the norm. Why?
Thanks Jac for sharing your experience. I really enjoyed reading your post. It is interesting how you starting with a stereotypical view of Muslims and that view changed as you start observing things around you. One lesson that I have learnt from your post is that we should try not to judge someone too fast but keep an open mind all the time.
ReplyDeleteAs to Brad’s question, I would think that it is a result of the rise of liberalization and thus, individualism. People seek to have their own opinion on things and are also able to find the platform to express such thoughts and views. At the same time, I personally believe that people have become more tolerant to change and even desire change. Thus, such four-letter curse words have become easily accepted in present society. In particular, I would like to raise the importance of media and how media has affected the way we live. People tend to use such four-letter curses casually as a result of what media is portrayed to the public. In fact, I can honestly say that media has in some way moulded the way I think and act. Cheers!
Hi Jac,
ReplyDeleteThis was an interesting read! I would like to also add in my personal example! I used to think that most Muslims were strict with anything related to their Islamic rules. (Oops, stereotyping!) But it seems that there are more of them who are becoming liberal these days! In fact, I have some close Muslim friends who normally say "If I don't know what I'm eating, then it's not a sin".
However, I do have something else to add. It seems as though everyone agrees that it was nice of the mother to maintain peace and harmony, by abiding the Islamic rules while she's at home, and then allowing her children to have the freedom to choose what they would like to eat outside. Somehow, I feel that her actions are still somewhat slightly disrespectful towards Islamic laws. Just my opinion though.
Brad: She is a Muslim turned Christian after she got married. But the husband isn't a Christian. But neither is the husband a very devout Muslim too. In fact I think the husband is quite open to letting the kids listen to the mum. Haha. So the kids are kind of stuck in between for now because they are all so young. And yes I agree to the point that it is really how people interpret the 'rules', as mentioned by Michelle in an earlier post. And the society is becoming more liberal, whether we like it or not. =(
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment!
Eunice: Yes judging by the book is definitely not a good thing as the society is changing so much now and everyone think so differently so there is no really a 'going by the book' saying anymore. Thanks for the comment!
Mabel: Haha yeah I guess its disrespectful to the elders but she doesn't need to strictly adhere to the laws because she's not a Muslim. I guess the kids are just too young to understand now so she's making the decisions for them first. =) Thanks for the comment!
Thanks for explaining, Jac. (sorry I just got back to your post now)
ReplyDelete